有没有英语的带中文的1分钟左右的小笑话
来自：听道 更新日期：早些时候
简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）~
One day ,Mr.Read found a litter boy in his apple tree.He got very
angry and shouted ,"Hey,get down at once ,or I'll have a word with your father !"
But the boy ,without stopping eating the apple ,raised his head towards the branches above and said ."Dad ,get down .A guy under the tree wants to have a word with you!"
有其父必有其子
一天，瑞德先生看见一个小男孩在他家苹果树上，他很生气就对那个男孩大喊：“，嘿！你给我立马滚下来，否则我就告诉你爸爸去！”
但是，男孩还不停的吃着苹果，抬头朝这上面树枝上的父亲说道：“爸爸，你下来，树下有个家伙想和你谈一谈！”
1.猴子捞月
One day, a little monkey is playing by the well.
一天，有只小猴子在井边玩儿。
He looks in the well and shouts:
它往井里一瞧，高喊道：
"Oh! My god! The moon has fallen into the well!"
“噢！我的天！月亮掉到井里头啦！”
An older monkey runs over, takes a look, and says:
一只大猴子跑来一看，说，
"My goodness! The moon is really in the water!"
“糟啦！月亮掉在井里头啦！”
An oldest monkey comes over.
老猴子也跑过来。
He is very surprised as well and cries out:
他也非常惊奇，喊道：
"The moon is in the well."
“糟了，月亮掉在井里头了！”
A group of monkeys run over to the well.
一群猴子跑到井边来，
They look at the moon in the well and shout:
他们看到井里的月亮，喊道：
"The moon did fall into the well! Come on! Let's get it out!"
“月亮掉在井里头啦！快来！让我们把它捞起来！”
Then, the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down, with his feet on the branch,
然后，老猴子倒挂在大树上，
and he pulls the next monkey's feet with his hands.
拉住大猴子的脚。
All the other monkeys follow his suit,
其他的猴子一个个跟着，
and they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well.
它们一只连着一只直到井里。
Just before they reach the moon, the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky.
正好他们摸到月亮的时候，老猴子抬头发现月亮挂在天上呢。
He yells excitedly: "Don't be so foolish! The moon is still in the sky!"
它兴奋地大叫：“别蠢了！月亮还好好地挂在天上呢！”
2.生金蛋的鹅The goose with the golden eggs
One morning a countryman went to his goose's nest, and saw a yellow and glittering egg there.
He took the egg home. To his delight, he found that it was an egg of pure gold.
Every morning the same thing occurred, and he soon became rich by selling his eggs.
The countryman became more and more greedy. He wanted to get all the gold at once, so he killed the goose, when he looked inside, he found nothing in its body.
一天早晨，一位农夫发现自家的鹅窝中有一只金灿灿的蛋。
他将蛋带回家，惊喜地发现这是一个金蛋。
此后，农夫每天都能得到一个金蛋。从此，他靠卖他的金蛋变得富有起来。
农夫变得越来越贪婪，他想一下子得到鹅肚子中所有的金蛋。于是他杀死了鹅，但是，鹅肚子中什么也没有。
寓意: 如果不懂得知足，贪得无厌，我们就会失去已经拥有的东西。
3.老狮子与狐狸 The lion and the fox
The lion once said that he was sick on his death bed.
So he asked all the animals to come and listen to his last wishes.
The goat came to the lion’s cave. He stood there and listened for a long time.
Then a sheep went in. Before she came out, a rabbit entered to hear the last wishes of the king of beasts.
But soon the lion seemed to recover, and went to the mouth of his cave.
He saw a fox waiting outside. "Why don’t you come in?" asked the lion to the fox.
"I beg Your Majesty’s pardon," said the fox, "I have seen many animals enter your cave, but none of them come out.
Till they come out again, I prefer to wait outside."
一头年老的狮子声称自己病得要死了，他告诉所有的动物来听他的临终遗言。
一只山羊进入狮子的洞穴，并一直留在那里，接着一只绵羊也进去了。之前，一只兔子也曾进去听这兽中之王的临终遗言。
但是不久，狮子好像康复了，能走到洞口了，他看到狐狸站在洞口，就问：“你为什么不进来呢？”
“尊敬的殿下，”狐狸回答说，“如果我没发现只有进去的脚印，没有一个出来的脚印，我也许会进洞去。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
It was the first day of school.
The leader heard so much noise from one of the classrooms.He ran into one of the classroom and find a boy who is the tallest in the class."Come to my room and don't leave until I leave."he said angrily.
As he went back to the class room,he taught the importance of keeping cilent in the classroom for nearly an hour.
"So,any questions?"He said .One of the girl stood up and said"Please,sir,may I have our teacher back?"
开学第一天。
校长听见一个教室里有很大动静，于是冲进教室，发现有一个比别人都高的男孩。“到我的办公室来，在我离开前不许走！”他生气地说。当他回到教室后，他向全班同学讲了关于保持课堂纪律的重要性，足足有一个小时。
“还有什么问题吗”他说。一个女孩站起来说：“先生，你可以让我们的校长回来了吗？”
Said that an alcoholic, a drink to go home, home, want to urinate on the toilet, the lights in front of a sliding door inside, and after he finished bathroom praise from a wife: "a wife you really able to fix the bathroom light , a bright open it, you're OK He He... "
"Bang, popping, popping..." Several more. . .
Hears wife said: "I told you how many times, and not allowed to go to the refrigerator pee ah..." 翻译 说，一个酒鬼，一喝回家，回家，要上厕所小便，在一个滑动门前灯里面，他说完后，妻子从浴室称赞：“太太你真的能够解决浴室光，光明打开它，你就行赫嗬...“
只听“弹出，弹出...”几个。 。 。
听到妻子说：“我告诉你多少次，而不是可以到冰箱里撒尿啊...”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
有没有英语的带中文的1分钟左右的小笑话视频
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15640511515：...稿最好的一部分,带中文翻译.演讲时长在一分钟左右
宰步彪答：我有一个梦：有一天，每一个峡谷将升高，每一座山丘和高峰被削低，崎岖粗糙的地方改造成平原，弯弯曲曲的地方变得笔直，上帝的荣耀得以展露，全人类都将举目共睹。This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with.这是我们的希望，这是信念，带着这个信念我回到南方。
1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。
3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字。布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference ″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded.
″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。 “没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢？” “您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
5、A physics Examination，Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?
Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
6、Jim’s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的历史考试。舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
扩展资料：
笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。
人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。
同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。
参考资料：百度百科：笑话
Mark is a good boy,but he is not very clean.His face and hands always very dirty.
One day,Mark goes to school.His teacher looks at him and says:"Mark,I know what you eat today.""What?"Mark asks. "Eggs.your face and your mouth tell me that."
"No."Mark says,"not today,but the day before yesterday."
可是手打的咧~~看我多好。其实很简单的哦！哈哈，英语天才在此，不用犯愁咯！
翻译：马克是个好男孩，但他不是很干净。他的手和脸总是很脏。
一天，马克去学校。他的老师看着他，说：“我知道你今天早上吃了什么。”“什么？”马克问道。“鸡蛋。你的脸和嘴告诉了我。”“不，”马克说，“不是今天，是前天。”
One day ,Mr.Read found a litter boy in his apple tree.He got very
angry and shouted ,"Hey,get down at once ,or I'll have a word with your father !"
But the boy ,without stopping eating the apple ,raised his head towards the branches above and said ."Dad ,get down .A guy under the tree wants to have a word with you!"
有其父必有其子
一天，瑞德先生看见一个小男孩在他家苹果树上，他很生气就对那个男孩大喊：“，嘿！你给我立马滚下来，否则我就告诉你爸爸去！”
但是，男孩还不停的吃着苹果，抬头朝这上面树枝上的父亲说道：“爸爸，你下来，树下有个家伙想和你谈一谈！”
1.猴子捞月
One day, a little monkey is playing by the well.
一天，有只小猴子在井边玩儿。
He looks in the well and shouts:
它往井里一瞧，高喊道：
"Oh! My god! The moon has fallen into the well!"
“噢！我的天！月亮掉到井里头啦！”
An older monkey runs over, takes a look, and says:
一只大猴子跑来一看，说，
"My goodness! The moon is really in the water!"
“糟啦！月亮掉在井里头啦！”
An oldest monkey comes over.
老猴子也跑过来。
He is very surprised as well and cries out:
他也非常惊奇，喊道：
"The moon is in the well."
“糟了，月亮掉在井里头了！”
A group of monkeys run over to the well.
一群猴子跑到井边来，
They look at the moon in the well and shout:
他们看到井里的月亮，喊道：
"The moon did fall into the well! Come on! Let's get it out!"
“月亮掉在井里头啦！快来！让我们把它捞起来！”
Then, the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down, with his feet on the branch,
然后，老猴子倒挂在大树上，
and he pulls the next monkey's feet with his hands.
拉住大猴子的脚。
All the other monkeys follow his suit,
其他的猴子一个个跟着，
and they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well.
它们一只连着一只直到井里。
Just before they reach the moon, the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky.
正好他们摸到月亮的时候，老猴子抬头发现月亮挂在天上呢。
He yells excitedly: "Don't be so foolish! The moon is still in the sky!"
它兴奋地大叫：“别蠢了！月亮还好好地挂在天上呢！”
2.生金蛋的鹅The goose with the golden eggs
One morning a countryman went to his goose's nest, and saw a yellow and glittering egg there.
He took the egg home. To his delight, he found that it was an egg of pure gold.
Every morning the same thing occurred, and he soon became rich by selling his eggs.
The countryman became more and more greedy. He wanted to get all the gold at once, so he killed the goose, when he looked inside, he found nothing in its body.
一天早晨，一位农夫发现自家的鹅窝中有一只金灿灿的蛋。
他将蛋带回家，惊喜地发现这是一个金蛋。
此后，农夫每天都能得到一个金蛋。从此，他靠卖他的金蛋变得富有起来。
农夫变得越来越贪婪，他想一下子得到鹅肚子中所有的金蛋。于是他杀死了鹅，但是，鹅肚子中什么也没有。
寓意: 如果不懂得知足，贪得无厌，我们就会失去已经拥有的东西。
3.老狮子与狐狸 The lion and the fox
The lion once said that he was sick on his death bed.
So he asked all the animals to come and listen to his last wishes.
The goat came to the lion’s cave. He stood there and listened for a long time.
Then a sheep went in. Before she came out, a rabbit entered to hear the last wishes of the king of beasts.
But soon the lion seemed to recover, and went to the mouth of his cave.
He saw a fox waiting outside. "Why don’t you come in?" asked the lion to the fox.
"I beg Your Majesty’s pardon," said the fox, "I have seen many animals enter your cave, but none of them come out.
Till they come out again, I prefer to wait outside."
一头年老的狮子声称自己病得要死了，他告诉所有的动物来听他的临终遗言。
一只山羊进入狮子的洞穴，并一直留在那里，接着一只绵羊也进去了。之前，一只兔子也曾进去听这兽中之王的临终遗言。
但是不久，狮子好像康复了，能走到洞口了，他看到狐狸站在洞口，就问：“你为什么不进来呢？”
“尊敬的殿下，”狐狸回答说，“如果我没发现只有进去的脚印，没有一个出来的脚印，我也许会进洞去。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
It was the first day of school.
The leader heard so much noise from one of the classrooms.He ran into one of the classroom and find a boy who is the tallest in the class."Come to my room and don't leave until I leave."he said angrily.
As he went back to the class room,he taught the importance of keeping cilent in the classroom for nearly an hour.
"So,any questions?"He said .One of the girl stood up and said"Please,sir,may I have our teacher back?"
开学第一天。
校长听见一个教室里有很大动静，于是冲进教室，发现有一个比别人都高的男孩。“到我的办公室来，在我离开前不许走！”他生气地说。当他回到教室后，他向全班同学讲了关于保持课堂纪律的重要性，足足有一个小时。
“还有什么问题吗”他说。一个女孩站起来说：“先生，你可以让我们的校长回来了吗？”
Said that an alcoholic, a drink to go home, home, want to urinate on the toilet, the lights in front of a sliding door inside, and after he finished bathroom praise from a wife: "a wife you really able to fix the bathroom light , a bright open it, you're OK He He... "
"Bang, popping, popping..." Several more. . .
Hears wife said: "I told you how many times, and not allowed to go to the refrigerator pee ah..." 翻译 说，一个酒鬼，一喝回家，回家，要上厕所小便，在一个滑动门前灯里面，他说完后，妻子从浴室称赞：“太太你真的能够解决浴室光，光明打开它，你就行赫嗬...“
只听“弹出，弹出...”几个。 。 。
听到妻子说：“我告诉你多少次，而不是可以到冰箱里撒尿啊...”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
有没有英语的带中文的1分钟左右的小笑话视频
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宰步彪答：and I feel proud that I was able to give others a helping hand. 上周当我在社区散步时遇到了一只流浪狗，天气很冷，周围没有人。我停了下来，他无助地望着我。我想“多么可怜的狗呀！”然后我决定把他带回家。当我们回到家，我喂给他吃的，给他喝的，并和他一起玩耍。但他似乎有点悲伤...
宰步彪答：Just then a little boy piped up and asked, “What's his number?”每个星期天，牧师都会在教堂前面召集一群孩子，给他们讲一个故事。有一次，为了更好地解释祈祷的意义，他带来了一部电话机。“你们和电话里的人说话，却并没有看到电话那端的人，对不对呀?”他开始说道。孩子们点头表示同意。
宰步彪答：job.【点击了解更多课程内容】您有任何的问题和不明白的地方，都可以咨询元知共读。公司以知识为内核，以书籍为媒介，意在打造美好生活共读馆，让更多人感受通过读书获取知识所带来的认知迭代、创造美好生活。以视听交互的新颖方式呈现，让更多人享受优质的阅读体验，全面打通阅读与成长的全链路互动场景。
宰步彪答：我有一个梦：有一天，每一个峡谷将升高，每一座山丘和高峰被削低，崎岖粗糙的地方改造成平原，弯弯曲曲的地方变得笔直，上帝的荣耀得以展露，全人类都将举目共睹。This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with.这是我们的希望，这是信念，带着这个信念我回到南方。
