麻烦各位帮忙看看 有语法错误否
Nowadays, with the rapid economic development, which are creating more and more new corporations and businesses. Among all these enterprises whether they are new or old, their main aim and only purpose seem just to make profit and should do anything they can to achieve such a goal. Although it is undeniable that making profits is an extremely important purpose of a company, I surely believe that it is not the unique or the only purpose to pursue. There are certainly many other factors should be considered when making decisions. Therefore, I strongly disagree with the above statement and there are two main reasons I shall point out.
First of all, apart from pursuing of profit, there are many social responsibilities should be consider about and aware of by enterprisers, such as ensuring product qualities, creating more job opportunities and repaying the society. For example, as we all know that Bill Gates has made a large profit by selling his products, but he also established many foundations and donated huge amounts of money to help those who need assistance. And it is clear that he cannot make any profit from donating. Bill Gates is surely a role model for all other enterprisers to learn from and follow.
Secondly, many approaches to make great profits are actually at the cost of losing moralities. For example, in order to increasing the turnover, drugs enterprises may exaggerate the effectiveness of their drugs and lead to misunderstandings of consumers, furthermore, these may lead to mistreatment of patients too. Besides, many companies earn money by making false accounts. It seems as if making false accounts would not do any harm to others, but it would destroy the social welfare finally. On the other hand, the companies which making profits through the means of cheating would have to pay for it in the long run.
In conclusion, I strongly suggest that enterprises should take more social responsibilities rather than merely earning money. Because the more you gain from the society the more and better you should serve and repay the society. And a company would not be respected if their unique and only purpose is making profits.
楼主已写得非常之好，而且很有讨论价值，我已替你修改了一些错漏。希望会满意。
1. class 和 curriculum 是近义字，二选一以免拖沓;单调==>dull/monotonous, 过时outmoded;最後一句需补字
The type of postgraduate public English curriculum is similar to the undergraduate one. This kind of curriculum design is dull and outmoded. Moreover, many schools generally only open the intensive reading and listening courses. Other courses such as writing are rare.
2. 前 postgraduate is high talents 後their是明显的文法不一致错误;後面句子须补字;attend一词代go to使文体简洁;postgraduate 可作形容词，不用's;最後补上连接词理顺句子逻辑
The other teachers consider the postgraduates as high level talents whose self-learning ability is stronger. Therefore, it is not necessary to force students to attend classes. Thus, the postgraduate English course should be selective.
3. single又来了~别告诉我你单身太久了==>dull/monotonous...首句teacher's可删去搬动:都说教学方式了有必要强调"老师的"吗?...main line==>请改用major contents..下次写读後感有皇室血统或小说主线才用mainline...
Moreover, the teaching method is monotonous. The teachers generally use the traditional teaching method, which the teacher is centered, books and blackboard are medium, and reading as well as translation teachings are the major contents.
my school to take part 《in》 this competition
i was nervous just now just now改成before比较好
是take part in，还可以把文章改的简明一些，比如把第二个nervous去掉。
希望能帮助到你，祝你好运
麻烦各位帮忙看看 有语法错误否视频
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